I took time this weekend to push the limits, to see how far it would go, and to test the waters so to speak. It worked in my favor. All of the soul searching in the world does me no good if the things around me and people around me are not willing to cooperate. Having been so independent for so long, I have come to realize that I must be the driving force in my relationships with those I love. Not in control necessarily, but the force behind our movements and our futures.
If I am not the strong one, these children will not learn to stand on their own. They will not learn that their voice should be heard also. They must take each moment and make it count.
There is an abundance of love in my life, and I must accept it and move forward, not reject it and push everyone away. Some of what I have done has caused me to be very isolated and unhappy, so I am working to remove any negative influences, and focus on positive future seasons.
I have many travel plans. I have to visit the granddaughters and go back to Conway to see Granddaddy, and since Daddy is back in the states, he's asked that we come down for a few days. I still plan the trip to the farm, springtime is beautiful there, and peaceful.
Just taking in one moment at a time has been fantastic. I look forward to each day, rather than dread the next saga.
2 comments:
I just found your blog (by searching folks who have "dogs" listed as an interest) and am enjoying reading many of your thoughtful posts.
I have encouraged independence in my children from the time they approached an age of accountability. I get a lot of criticism from certain individuals for doing this, but if there is one thing I believe, it is that a child is better off making certain errors BEFORE they reach adulthood than after. They must develop their convictions and personal strengths BEFORE it counts. They must have the character to fall and get back up again when they take those first steps into the world beyond.
I don't think I'm wrong on this, because I've watched my daughter develop attitudes that were wrong - put all of my strength into steering her back on course - and eventually watched her step back out again with more wisdom and conviction and determination than before. I believe that when she finally holds the reins, she will be equipped to navigate ... I am not ready to let go yet and she is not ready for me to let go yet ... but, when the time comes, I have faith in her ability. I think that comes from giving her a degree of independence, but standing by to catch her when she falls ... letting her discover the error and then trusting her learn the lesson and once again, take that step.
You are wise in setting the example - and wise in trying to teach those who learn from you how to find that strength.
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