Three years ago today.
I married my best friend three years ago today.
I often lose sight of what we agreed upon and what we originally planned. I suppose this is odd to most of you reading this blog, simply because I have been facing issues recently with Steve, and I am wondering now if this just isn't part of marriage. I don't know. This is my first. Tradition, values, hope, blending families. Sounds nice doesn't it ? Oh boy. I think I had in mind a beautiful wedding and living hapily ever after...but real life happens doesn't it ?
I met Steve when I was determined NOT to meet anyone. I had made the decision that I was meant to be alone, I was meant to raise my children alone, and I excelled alone. I was perfectly content raising my children, pouring my heart and soul into my career. I spent many blissful evenings on my patio, waiting on the vegetables and lean meat to finish on the gas grill, enjoying Blaze's company (my boxer), and the occasional sweet sip of bourbon and cola, or unsweet iced tea, whichever the menu called for. The peaceful relaxing evenings. I was perfectly content alone on my patio. This was blissful.
My daughter came back into town, and dropped off my oldest granddaughter, and my sweet Jeidyn remained with me for several months. Dropped off as a stranger to a stranger, we developed a bond that will never be broken. Life became a little busier, but also it was filled with a little more love also. And Miss Jeidyn enjoyed the evenings on the patio with her Nanna. She loved to be outside as much as her Nanna did. She loved her Uncle Bryton's baseball life as much as her Nanna also. We were happy.
I had come to the place in my life where I knew that all of the pain and heartache I had survived in the past shaped me into who I was, and the reason I lived through the heartache was so that I could be stronger on my own, and finally have peace.
My daughter came back into our lives, with a new beau, but one with a familiar last name. I had known his first cousin Shane since he was thirteen years old, being one of the partners in crime that my daughter had bonded with in her earlier years. Shane was always welcome in our home. I knew that even though they were only friends, that Shane would always take care of Anita - like a sister - no matter what.
So when Anita showed up with Shane's first cousin, and asked permission to take Jeidyn with her to meet Shane's father, I was open to the idea. I asked her to call Shane and let me talk to him, to make sure that is where she was going. It was supper time and Jeidyn would require a bath and pajamas shortly, and I was not standing for any disruption to our schedule. The call was made, the verification confirmed, and I allowed her to take Jeidyn to meet Shane's father. Shane assured me that he and his father only lived a few blocks from me.
The next afternoon Anita called me to tell me that she needed assistance with her personal income taxes, so I agreed to bring a tax form to her the following day and help her complete the information. I drove up, saw Shane on a mule, being led by his father out in the horse corral, Jeidyn was running around playing with a young man I would come to know as John Paul. I left the paperwork with Anita and asked her call me later in the evening so that I could go over the form with her.
Anita called that evening and told me that they were going to have a bar-b-que the following weekend, that she would really like for me to go with her. I told her no at first, everyone other than Shane were strangers to me, and I was happy with my own grill, my own patio, my own space. She begged and insisted, using Jeidyn as her bargaining chip since she was having the time of her life with all of the horses and chickens and goats. I questioned her insistence, and agreed to stop by, but should I feel like this was a set up to meet someone she may as well forget it I was out of there.
The weekend rolled around and I went to the cookout. I must admit, once Shane's father and I began visiting and playing with the kids, I felt so comfortable with him. We shared the same political beliefs, the same family values, the same opinions on broken families and the damage they cause for everyone. When I noticed the time it was well after midnight, so I excused myself and drove the few blocks home.
The next time I went there and we talked, we discovered we also had the same hopes for the future, neither wanting to date or meet someone, doing just fine alone. We discovered we both love nature, the outdoors, animals, hunting and fishing, the woods, the children.
I remember only a few short months later, Steve proposed to me in his kitchen. I covered up his mouth and stopped him - I told him I was happy and if he asks me to marry him it will ruin everything. He said, "No Shannon. This is right, you know it is right."
We went the next afternoon and bought my engagement ring. We went to his mother's house to let her in on the news, and at her home, Steve formally proposed on one knee in front of the family. We were unable to tell the children at this time, and chose to wait until just before the wedding to announce and send out invitations because of personal issues, but everyone was present other than my son. My father married us, my grandfather gave me away.
And so here we are.
I am taking time today to reflect on the beginning, to take it all in, to remember that this marriage is about us, and our future.
Thankful for the little girl who lost her shoe - her new shoes for school, and the phone call from her mother, in tears because they bought new shoes for each girl, and that was all the money they had. Thankful that I had the money to run to Wally World and UPS.
