Five and a half years ago, I awoke from a deep and unusually peaceful sleep, to Grandmother telling me, very gently, but very clearly, "Shannon, it will all be ok, talk to your mother." I sat up in bed, somewhat startled, but not afraid. You see, Grandmother passed in 1996, and she was always distant to me - she and my sister were much closer, until events in my youth took their toll. I was not living with mother at the time, but with Daddy, and was oblivious to the turmoil that was going on around my mother and her parents in Arkansas. And I was puzzled that she would tell me to talk to my mother. I was not, nor had I ever been close to mother. I was not sure that she wasn't telling me to check on mother. But mother was fine. I dare not tell anyone what had happened.
Her visit stuck with me for a very long time. It was as clear as glass. I did not know what she meant, maybe offering peace to me for turbulent times ? All the same, her visit was always guiding me.
One year later, we were almost 2 weeks away from closing on our new home. He and I had been fortunate enough over the years to save, and bought 6 1/2 acres of land about 25 miles from here, out in the country, up on a hilltop. Incredible view. I designed the floor plan, and the long porch across the front, and he built it. Our view from the porch was mountains, valleys, and skylines as far as you could see. The view from the back porch was wooded, with wildlife everywhere. It was our dream come true. There were no neighbors for miles. We were down a long winding dirt road that continued for miles. I loved it.
His entire demeanor had changed.
His trips on the road became more frequent.
I discovered he found another woman.
I gave him 24 hours to clear out.
I was devastated. I came home and collapsed on the floor, and I do not think I came out of it for several months.
I know that I took care of the children, I showed up for work, I paid the bills, but honestly, I have no memory of it.
Two years later, my life turned around. THIS is what Grandmother was trying to tell me.
Over the course of this gut wrenching break up, mother and I became very close. I leaned on her, and she was always there for me. This is what Grandmother meant.
Everything will be fine.
So yes, I believe in angels...they come to me sometimes.
1 comment:
oh man, that was awesome reading ... i remember that time in your life and i hated i couldnt be there for you... you have ALWAYS been there for me even if it was just a phone call away day or night ... im so lucky to have you as my friend ... and with everything ive been going through lately i know i have a friend in you... as i left town friday, i was almost in tears as i watched my mom stand there waving goodbye to me as i drove down the road .... boy do i miss my mother, you are bless to have yours near you...
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