I spent the weekend working in the garden, cooking for 23 people, visiting with family who came for the cookout, and cleaning both houses. I had a full weekend, and yet managed to "hang on" to me, and look at things around me in a different light.
I am being very critical about my relationship with Steve -- and oops -- a Freudian slip there -- I should say, OUR relationship.
My whole entire purpose for taking my time is to make sure this is not a by-product of medication, that he is sincere, and is willing to take the time needed to make this work. This will NOT work, as I have pointed out to him, if it continues to be a one-sided effort for success.
This weekend was a good time for me to sit back and relax. Lots of people - lots of family - oh I know, you're thinking (what time ? sounds busy ?) - but it was perfect. I spent all morning shopping, got to Steve's, began preparing food - and of course - around this house - when the majority of invited guests are young people - there isn't much help in the kitchen. But this time I was not perturbed by it - in fact, being that cooking is a passion of mine - it gave me alone time, thinking time, and I was able to listen to all conversations around me. Very enlightening.
Listening to everyone elses take on things, on the garden, on the house and repairs, on the vehicle situation, on our relationship, shed a different light on things for me.
The difference this time, was the peace that I felt.
Please make no mistake. I am still taking my time. I am in no rush to move back, I am still enjoying my own space too much. And I will work on one issue at a time. As time allows.
1 comment:
it was really good you found some alone time amidst all that was going on ... thats great... do what you need to make yourself feel good... do what it takes to find what you need to find... the world doesnt stop because you stop .. do what you need to do and enjoy what you can in the meantime.
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