Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Pondering

Absorbing this journey, one day at a time, learning that I must slow down and breathe, knowing that I've lived far too many years already reaching for the satisfaction of 'fixing' everyone, every one's circumstances, and in all reality, accomplishing very little in that direction. Oh, there have been rewards, great rewards, and great relationships that have formed from this, and I appreciate all of them, truly.
This search is leading me in a new direction. It seems very un-natural for me to "relax and enjoy", discovering that without 'purpose' so-to-speak, it leaves one feeling almost mute. Trying to allow God to direct my next achievement is at times difficult for me, as everything has always depended on me.
Learning now, that waiting for His hand to guide me is a blessing, a 'reward' if you will, for listening to Him and having Faith. Knowing that He will not lead me to a place where I am unable to persevere. I must have Faith.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm reminded of the Rich Mullins song, in which he says, "Surrender don't come easily to me. I'd rather fight you for something I don't really want, than take what you give that I need. And, I've beat my head against so many walls. Now I'm falling down - falling to my knees. So, hold me, Jesus. I'm shaking like a leaf. You have been King of my glory. Won't you be my Prince of Peace."