The River

When I took my granddaughter to the marina this weekend, I had an overwhelming feeling of what I can only describe as euphoria as I stepped around to the back boat launch.

I have spent many hours as a child and young adult on the water. There was a period of about 3 years that every evening we went out on the boat after work and fished until dark or simply enjoyed the water and the nature surrounding it. My old feelings came flooding back to me and remembering when I was told over and over, "People all my life had said they just don't have time to get out on the water, you never have time Shannon, you just go get in the truck, pull the boat to the water and do it."

I have recently complained about my situation at home, my marriage, my financial circumstances, but have actually done very little to change any of it. Looking back, I created where I was, who I was and what my future was going to hold back in those days, and it is only me that can change this.

I am watching seasons change in regards to my two children. A son who is at the 'jumping off place' for his future, and my daughter who has begun to turn into a very mature young adult, suffering and conquering and raising her daughters as best she knows how. After all, that is what I did, and even with all of the frustration she caused - she's finally getting it.

Seeing my father age, gracefully, and watching his face as I noticed he was watching me deal with the domestic situation I am currently dealing with...rescuing me to the marching contest...pulling me aside Friday night and saying, "You aren't cooking for this brood all weekend, lets go eat"...and bringing my laundry from the house I'm renting across town to me - when I asked him to please bring HIS laundry over and I would take care of it. He knows what I am faced with, and as I write, tears are welling up in my eyes...he knows. We talked. He knows I have been looking at rental property in central Texas...and he understands that I am faced with issues far greater then housing...having lost two beautiful homes that were new, both designed by me...and looking at the house I'm in now....and understands that this is what I HAVE to do right now.

The river. My journey.

I know it isn't so much the destination - as the journey itself.....and my points of making time have to be realized.

"You are the strongest woman I've ever met....do something about it...stop complaining about it..." I dish out this advice too that I received during that time in my life also....I just never follow it.